Its a very emo night for me. I just begin to feel the loss of friends and those once - inseparable companions that walked through my highschool life with me.
I just dont know why..?
Was it something i did?
"You're just being paranoid, Shawn."
.I've a friend who just told me there are people, especially those i was referring to, who aren't happy with me. For things that i have done months past.
Bad memories, left with them?
"So, patch things up.. you should never lose a friend. "
.Is it even worth it now? Im gone from school, i would never have another chance to properly mend things back with them. Time is the best healer of scars and that is one i lack.
- so. there. im tired of people talking ABOUT me BEHIND me.
- it was FUN with you guys but apparently you don't APPRECIATE IT enough to show it.
- great, so maybe my words or playful insults hit you too hard. im SORRY. i never MEANT them.
- have i done stupid things? that perhaps, ruin the name of a given group, or circle of relations? a large, public society, perhaps? Did i really cause it? or am i just blamed, for the convenience of everyone?
- perhaps i havent been treating you as well as i should. im sorry, i have never noticed, i might have if you TOLD ME ABOUT IT. if you did, and i still treated you bad, then im to blame. i accept all flames for this.
- am i to blame? if i am cut out from EVERY activity you all do together without me? so that your bondings strengthen but ours rust?
ITS ENDING. YOU'RE ENDING IT.
i say sorry - but i dont ask for forgiveness.
i ask for you, to give my memory peace. Just let go of all these grudges.
I ASK ALSO THAT YOU DO NOT BOTHER ANYONE WHO IS CLOSELY CONNECTED TO ME, LIKE FRIENDS WHO STILL BELONG, ABOUT SOMETHING I HAVE DONE TO YOU. IF YOU WANT TO SAY SOMETHING, JUST SAY IT TO ME, AND STOP CAUSING THEM TO BE BOTHERED, OR
MAKE MORE OF YOU TO HATE ME.
IT WOULD BE NICE TOO IF YOU'D STOP TALKING ABOUT ME.
THIS POST IS GOING TO STIMULATE ALOT OF COMMENTS AMONG YOU, I ASK THAT IT DOES NOT HAPPEN. IF IT DOES THEN, DO NOT HOLD ME FOR BLAME. IVE HAD - ENOUGH -. so terminate our friendship, if you really dislike me that much. i cannot stand being friends with one who is destined to become my enemy.