Its funny how things change drastically yet you kinda have this urge to re-enter that life you left for the sheer sake of starting a new one.
There's a pull of the heartstrings.
I'm wondering what it would be like, to re-enter that classroom, and have that excited feel of seeing your classmates again.
There's that tug of eagerness.
I'm wondering what it'd be like to be a St. Andrew's student again.
Many have heard me say it, and many have accepted it.
Except me. It's hard to accept that i don't belong there anymore, its not a thing that makes me feel like crying, its just perhaps..
A feeling that can't die.
St. Andrew's was the first school i attended in my conscious young life.
Ever since i was granted the power and ability of advanced memory storage and conscious thought, i have been in that school.
For 11years. i have been there. As at of the 1st of July 2008, i have no rights to call myself a St. Andrew's student any longer.
Yes, if u read this now, i have 1 day. one last day.
It is a strange feeling. Perhaps stranger than any of you will ever realize, because you will all leave together, holding hands stepping with each other onto the Shores of the Real World.
I have stepped alone. Now the coastline is barren and lonesome, and I make into the forests.
As gruelling as it may seem, there is a light ahead. I've met other explorers, who were not in the ship with me, apparently other ships.
They tell me of the promises that await in that village, yet some return from the village telling of horrible things.
One companion, i have met; he himself is a citizen of the village, and has encouraged me to stay in with him.
It is a promising hope of a new and better school.
End of current Journal
Friday, June 20, 2008
14:31
I've just acquired a whole new system to use -
Pentium Dual Core - 1.6gHz each core, grand total of 3.2gHz. RAM - 2006MB, - lets just say 2 gigs. =)
Keyboard - Veteran Lycosa RAZER keyboard that has seen the darker side of computers, as of the BlackCat computer in Shawn's room 234 years ago.
Mouse - A4tech wireless optical, veteran as well, infact all the way since the time of thy Brother (yes it WAS his mouse.) approximately 2.3million years ago.
Speakers - a total of 6 speaker units 3 subwoofer units compounded into 2 seperate systems that are connected into the CPU by an adapter that allows you to plug 2 audio lines into 1 hole. Sounds like a threesome.
Partially surround sound, - 2 front subwoofers and 4 front general speakers, - 2 rear side speakers - 1 middle-underneath-placed subwoofer and control unit
Missing - top rear speakers, top front speakers, bottom speakers and a placed-directly-behind speaker.
I have yet to discover the identity of my Graphics Card.
It is an Acer computer with Windows Vista Business Operating System.
- zOmg. wait a second there. Business? -
Tell me about it. I got this as a lil random gift from my nice dad. However since he deals with computers + business in extremely close ties, I recieved a business OS.
However I don't find much problems with this type of OS, it doesn't seem any different from anything else.
-=-=- I did encounter a problem as soon as I tried to use the Vista. -=-=-
I heard many ppl complain about Vista and I am fortunate to experience one of the problems first hand.
I hereby name this problem - the UAC bug.
The UAC - User Account Control, blocks every single thing you try to do to Vista. You can't change the time or date, you can't manage your accounts, its impossible to install anything or download anything. and the sad fact -
When you try to change the time, it says "You do not have the priviledges to change blablabla. Please contact your administrator for more details. "
hello? who d'you think was trying to change the time? Furthermore, i checked my account details. And it says im a COMPUTER ADMINISTRATOR.
So there. I Yahoo'ed the problem (couldn't find the google search bar in the IE of Vista) and the solution came out simple and brilliant.
There were 3 methods and i picked the first 2 for safety.
Editing the REGEDIT of UAC, setting EnableUAC to "0". (Google for this im pretty lazy to explain)
Editing the settings of UAC under MSCONFIG to "disable". (As of 2 sentences above this)
Both require you to run the "Run.." program, which mysteriously cannot be found at it's favorite hiding spot near the bottom of the start menu.
Therefore, I whacked CTRL-ALT-DEL and did new - program - and it worked.
So there I have successfully fixed my first problem of Vista.
Thanks goes out to those guys out there who aren't like me, lazy to post solutions to problems they have encountered. Nerds FTW!~
However, this new toy comes with a price.
I have lost every single offline data in my pc, including clips, music, pictures, games, WC3 maps, addons for WoW, WoW itself, a perfectly cracked version of original Wc3 TFT.
I start over, brand new, from scratch.
End of current Journal
Thursday, June 12, 2008
23:45
Just like the title says...
Its a very emo night for me. I just begin to feel the loss of friends and those once - inseparable companions that walked through my highschool life with me.
I just dont know why..?
Was it something i did?
"You're just being paranoid, Shawn."
.I've a friend who just told me there are people, especially those i was referring to, who aren't happy with me. For things that i have done months past.
Bad memories, left with them?
"So, patch things up.. you should never lose a friend. "
.Is it even worth it now? Im gone from school, i would never have another chance to properly mend things back with them. Time is the best healer of scars and that is one i lack.
- so. there. im tired of people talking ABOUT me BEHIND me.
- it was FUN with you guys but apparently you don't APPRECIATE IT enough to show it.
- great, so maybe my words or playful insults hit you too hard. im SORRY. i never MEANT them.
- have i done stupid things? that perhaps, ruin the name of a given group, or circle of relations? a large, public society, perhaps? Did i really cause it? or am i just blamed, for the convenience of everyone?
- perhaps i havent been treating you as well as i should. im sorry, i have never noticed, i might have if you TOLD ME ABOUT IT. if you did, and i still treated you bad, then im to blame. i accept all flames for this.
- am i to blame? if i am cut out from EVERY activity you all do together without me? so that your bondings strengthen but ours rust?
ITS ENDING. YOU'RE ENDING IT.
i say sorry - but i dont ask for forgiveness.
i ask for you, to give my memory peace. Just let go of all these grudges.
I ASK ALSO THAT YOU DO NOT BOTHER ANYONE WHO IS CLOSELY CONNECTED TO ME, LIKE FRIENDS WHO STILL BELONG, ABOUT SOMETHING I HAVE DONE TO YOU. IF YOU WANT TO SAY SOMETHING, JUST SAY IT TO ME, AND STOP CAUSING THEM TO BE BOTHERED, OR
MAKE MORE OF YOU TO HATE ME.
IT WOULD BE NICE TOO IF YOU'D STOP TALKING ABOUT ME.
THIS POST IS GOING TO STIMULATE ALOT OF COMMENTS AMONG YOU, I ASK THAT IT DOES NOT HAPPEN. IF IT DOES THEN, DO NOT HOLD ME FOR BLAME. IVE HAD - ENOUGH -. so terminate our friendship, if you really dislike me that much. i cannot stand being friends with one who is destined to become my enemy.